hello there


A swarthy race occupying Arabia, and numerous in Syria, Northern Africa, and the middle east.

Finger or crescent moon shaped fruit favored by monkeys and other mammals with discriminate tastes.

Bar Mitzvah
An initiation ceremony usually marking the thirteenth birthday of a Jewish boy and signifying the beginning of religious responsibility.

Ben Yehuda Street
Closed off street in Jerusalem where much shopping can be done in an open air mall fashion.

Biblical Harp
Stringed instrument designed based on information found in the Bible, Talmud, and archeology.

Caesar’s Barge
A large flat bottomed boat presumably used by Roman Emperor Caesar who may have also had a flat bottom.

A long necked desert mammal popular with the caravan set. Known for its humpage.

Don’t get me started.

Religious Jews opposed to ritual laxity.

Dead Sea
Body of salt water acting as border between Jordan and Israel which is also the lowest point on Earth and which is disappearing at a rate of thirty six inches per year which would have it completely gone within five hundred years of the publication of this book unless they get creative with canals from elsewhere.

Don Ho
Native Hawaiian lounge singer known for being involved with tiny bubbles, hula dancers and the occasional Hookie Lau.

Machine famous for ripping hair out of ladies’ legs.

Spanish for Hookie Lau. (See Don Ho)

Region in the north of Israel divided into upper and lower sections. Home of the Sea of Galilee, Israel’s main fresh water source.

A list of words and their definitions.

Golan Heights
Hilly region in the north of Israel captured from Syria in 1967.

That which causes things to fall.

Kibbutz in the north of Israel where the Epilady was invented and home to at least three women named Michal.

King of Jerusalem during the turn of the zero millennium famous for building lots of ancient things (though they were new at the time) including Masada and other things which are being dug up.

Hula Valley
Valley in the north of Israel overlooked by the Golan Heights. Used to be swampy. Not so easy to ride a mountain bike through.

A country in the middle east famous for it’s high concentrations of Jews. Mentioned a lot in the Bible.

Ancient port city in Israel outside of which Tel Aviv was built.

Ancient and modern capital of Israel.

Communal living establishment where everyone shares everything.

Hebrew referring to the Western Wall.

A Hawaiian feast. (No Hawaiians are actually consumed.)

Mahane Yehuda
Hebrew for Jewish Market. The open air Jewish Market in Jerusalem.

USC graduate student who takes a hell of a picture.

Mountain top two-palaced fortress across the street from the Dead Sea built by King Herod probably to escape the cats in Jerusalem. Inhabited by Jewish Zealots who fended off the Romans for two years and then committed suicide rather than become slaves.

Pronounced mee-hall. One of at least six different women in Israel.

Negev Desert
Southern area of Israel known for it’s hotness.

North Carolina
One of the fifty states which make up the United States of America. Occasional travel destination for a particular Arab family.

Old City
The ancient walled city of Jerusalem surrounded by the modern city.

Arabs who co-occupy the land of Israel with Jews.

Pliable substance used for shaping and molding but not for baking. Non-toxic. Can be eaten if necessary.

Princess Leia
Star Wars royal woman leader of the rebellion against the Empire. Originally with cinnamon rolls for hair.

An anti-depressant drug used to temper the behavior of far too many children who might be better served by the judicious implementation of Biblical Harps.

Native born Israeli.

Hebrew for Sabbath. Day of rest.

Main unit of currency in Israel.

Affectionate name for Joshua, the harmonica playing bus driver.

Syrian bunkers
Places scattered throughout the Golan Heights where Syrian soldiers used to look out over places such as the Hula Valley and shoot at people.

Electronic pets. Batteries included.

Material for surfacing roads, especially roads that airplanes travel on.

Tel Aviv
Large modern coastal Israeli City. Sometimes referred to as the New York of Israel. Apples moderately sized.

Type of submachine gun designed and manufactured in Israel.

Western Wall
The holiest spot for Jews. Last remaining wall of Herod’s Temple. (even though other walls have since been excavated but just how thin do we need to spread our holy focus?)

Yad Vashem
The Holocaust memorial and museum in Jerusalem.

One of those things that Jews (traditionally men) wear on their heads.

Belief that there should be a Jewish homeland.

feeding holy cats
| introduction | free sample poems | order

A Man With No Teeth Serves Us Breakfast | I'd Like to Bake Your Goods | Stolen Mummies | Brendan Constantine is My Kind of Town
Up Liberty's Skirt | Feeding Holy Cats | Mowing Fargo
| I'm a Jew, Are You? | Lizard King of the Laundromat | I Am My Own Orange County
Paris: It's The Cheese
| Poetry Super Highway | Judaic Links | Rick's Bookmarks | Cobalt Poets
E-mail Rick
| Other Cool Rick Stuff / Upcoming Readings | Who The Hell Is Rick