Paris: It’s The Cheese

Paris: It's The Cheese

Currently
Out of Print


I went to Paris because I had to go. My sixth grade French teacher wanted me to go. She gave me fondue once to convince me to go. I read books by Henry Miller and when I read between the lines, they said “Go to Paris goddammit!” (Especially his book Under The Roofs of Paris in which the main character refers to his Penis as “John Thursday.”) When I saw Henry and June, in the credits it said Rick: Go To Paris. When the movie Forget Paris came out, it was subtitled Except For Rick Lupert. Every time I saw an image of the Mona Lisa I would receive a psychic message from her which said “As soon as you come to Paris, I’ll give you head . . . just stick your penis through the security glass.” It was clear that I had to go to Paris. And so I did. It’s The Cheese is the written record of this trip. Contained herein are all the poems I wrote when there and a few written in anticipation of the trip. Hell I even included the poems I didn’t like very much. They were just as much part of the experience as the rest. I hope you enjoy sharing this experience with me, and if you don’t, please mail me five dollars anyway.

Poetry from Paris: It’s The Cheese


Raoul Et Yvette
4/20/95

I must start writing in French
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

I must begin to embody European culture

J’ai un grand champignon.

I must expand my literary horizons
Il à bu du thé.
I am exploring an untapped resource
Mangez une pomme de terre maintenant.
Multi-lingual communication is the key to tolerance
La Louvre est un musée dans Paris.
I will spread peace and understanding throughout the planet
Le chien est sur ma tête.
Utopia is our inevitable future
Où est la bibliothèque?
Nirvana, our inevitable consciousness
Je m’appele Henri Miller.


Good And Bad Ramifications of
Early Morning Trash Collection In Pari
s
1/1/96

They collect the trash early every morning in Paris
which is good because it keeps the city clean
and bad because it wakes me up every morning
which is good because I don’t oversleep
and bad because I get tired during the day
which is good because I’ll sleep at night
and bad because I like to be up at night
which is good
and bad
for different reasons
which is good because I didn’t take up space listing the reasons
and bad because you might wonder what they are
which is good because it adds a poetic mystery to this piece
and bad because maybe you don’t like mysteries
and would rather shoot Agatha Christie in the head if you had the chance
and that would have various ramifications
some of which would be good
and some of which would be bad
and would regardless
have very little to do with
how often and early they collect the trash in Paris
and who it wakes up
and why that is good and bad
etcetera
ipso-facto
blah blah blah
a la mode
vive La France
I will not flick anyone’s boogar off the Eiffel Tower
as you can well imagine.


Again With The Lips 12/27/95

French women do this thing with their lips
when they talk
And I’ve already got this thing for lips
So you can imagine.


Holocaust Dog
12/25/95

That looks like a Holocaust Dog
said my travel companion in Paris
upon seeing the dog
très thin
avec tail between legs.
No, I thought
The NAZI’s treated their dogs quite well.


The Story of My Parisian Hotel Neighbors
1/1/96

I went to the Eiffel Tower
They stayed in their room and fucked
I visited the Louvre
They stayed in their room and fucked
I took a cruise on the Seine
They stayed in their room and fucked
I went out to eat
They stayed in, and ate
I spoke French with people
They spoke French without speaking
I came to Paris
They came in Paris
I was envious of their experience
They were oblivious to any other experiences
I spent a lot of money and had souvenirs to take home
They saved a lot of money and had souvenirs to take home
My Parisian hotel neighbors stayed in their hotel room
and fucked for two weeks
I sat in my bed in the next room
at nights
listening
and thinking
Fuck